Its been a rough couple of days. My hormones are all kinda crazy and life added to that isn't making it easier on me. On top of basically being the sole caregiver for Gabriella, I'm dealing with the dogs acting out, the medical bills that keep coming from my car accident last month and from Gabbie's birth, I still haven't done our taxes, my in-law's are coming this weekend and I have to get the spare room in decent shape, and my c-section incision is now infected and hurts really bad. I know that this is not an unique situation but I can't help but break down and cry sometimes. The Man is freaking out with all the crying but I honestly can't help it; sometimes I truly feel helpless and I melt down. Usually about 20 minutes after I feel like a damn idiot and tell myself that it's all going to be ok, which, deep down, I know it will be. I know I have to keep focused on Gabbie and not let all the other stuff get to me but with my emotions in a chaotic state, it's easier said than done.
I just have to keep on keepin' on. I know that in the end it will be ok. I'm so thankful for my family, especially my mother, who have helped so much over the past couple of weeks. I know that regardless of what's going on, I have an amazing support system and a TON of people who are willing to help. The Man continues to be amazing, taking care of what he can and helping with what he can't. I know that he feels bad that he can't help more. I told him to live it up now, because as soon as Gabbie is on a bottle, he's in charge of the late night feeding!!
I've made a mental list of things to do to take my mind off of all this stuff. Things like taking a shower, stepping outside and taking a couple of deep breaths, and surprisingly, saying the rosary. Now I'm not a practicing Catholic by any means, but I was raised in the Catholic church and spent 75% of my education in Catholic school. I guess the rosary is a comfort item for me and a prayer method. There have been a couple times since Gabbie's birth that I felt the urge to say the rosary. I don't know why, but I when I'm done, I definitely feel better.
I think I'll stop here and try to get the taxes done... at least get them started. Thank you for listening to me, I feel better now and I've realized that my blog is another thing that I can do to take my mind off of life. I'm thankful for that.