Tuesday, February 15, 2011

An Emotional Wreck

Its been a rough couple of days. My hormones are all kinda crazy and life added to that isn't making it easier on me. On top of basically being the sole caregiver for Gabriella, I'm dealing with the dogs acting out, the medical bills that keep coming from my car accident last month and from Gabbie's birth, I still haven't done our taxes, my in-law's are coming this weekend and I have to get the spare room in decent shape, and my c-section incision is now infected and hurts really bad. I know that this is not an unique situation but I can't help but break down and cry sometimes. The Man is freaking out with all the crying but I honestly can't help it; sometimes I truly feel helpless and I melt down. Usually about 20 minutes after I feel like a damn idiot and tell myself that it's all going to be ok, which, deep down, I know it will be. I know I have to keep focused on Gabbie and not let all the other stuff get to me but with my emotions in a chaotic state, it's easier said than done.

I just have to keep on keepin' on. I know that in the end it will be ok. I'm so thankful for my family, especially my mother, who have helped so much over the past couple of weeks. I know that regardless of what's going on, I have an amazing support system and a TON of people who are willing to help. The Man continues to be amazing, taking care of what he can and helping with what he can't. I know that he feels bad that he can't help more. I told him to live it up now, because as soon as Gabbie is on a bottle, he's in charge of the late night feeding!!

I've made a mental list of things to do to take my mind off of all this stuff. Things like taking a shower, stepping outside and taking a couple of deep breaths, and surprisingly, saying the rosary. Now I'm not a practicing Catholic by any means, but I was raised in the Catholic church and spent 75% of my education in Catholic school. I guess the rosary is a comfort item for me and a prayer method. There have been a couple times since Gabbie's birth that I felt the urge to say the rosary. I don't know why, but I when I'm done, I definitely feel better.

I think I'll stop here and try to get the taxes done... at least get them started. Thank you for listening to me, I feel better now and I've realized that my blog is another thing that I can do to take my mind off of life. I'm thankful for that.


  1. Call me when you can and let's talk...

  2. honey it WILL be better and you are right, it's the hormones. not that it is any easier because you know that though. it's still a bugger and a half. i think one night i tossed my youngest at the wall. (kidding!) smile if you can.

    hugs, bee

  3. Oh, how well I remember being where you are - first babies are so wonderful but such an adjustment! When my first one was about 3 months old, I took her to see my former piano teacher. One of the things she said I will never forget - she said "First babies are SO HARD - they don't warn you about how hard it will be!"
    So my advice - forget the spare bedroom, let your inlaws take care of that and whatever else needs doing when they get there. You've got a bit of time yet for the taxes. Just rest whenever Gabbie does, take care of her and yourself, and the rest will be there later! (And it does get better...hormones level out, babies grow up, and one day before you know it they're all grown up! I'm there now...but I still remember.) Hugs from a friend of Lois!

  4. Ciao Gladys!
    Big hugs and many positive thoughts for you and your Baby Gabriella
    Prayers help, when you need that!
    Be serene, it's normal that the first birth is a bit stressfull!
    Next month I'm grandmother again, the 4th time!
    Un abbraccio!!!!


  5. I so remember all these feelings. Hubby needs to move to the guest room if he's dead on his feet at work. Let a family member help you each day. This is so important for the first little bit.

    You will survive this. It's the hormones and the life changing events of having a baby that you have to figure out. You will. We all do.

    Take a deep breath and go for it. :)

  6. Yes, it's completely natural and hormonal, but it doesn't help a bit to know that while you're going through it, does it? Prayer is always a comfort. One day at a time, honey. Or one minute at a time, if need be!

  7. Friend Joy said it very. This is temporary. Do what has to be done and let folks help you. You don't have to be wonder woman. Take one moment T
    at a time. Gabby comes first.

    Motherly hugs honey,,,

  8. Oh, the hormones! Sweetie, it does get better. Before you even realize it, each day is better. Keep Gabbie as your focus. Everything else can wait. Pay someone to do your taxes, your time is worth more than the $50. Let Daddy do more. Pump so he can help. It was the best thing I ever did, despite getting mastitis. It will lessen the burden on you. Please email me if you ever need to vent. I have been there, I can completely understand, empathize and relate. star8278@gmail.com.

  9. Oh, the other thing I wanted to say. Did you ever hear of the juggler. He lept tossing the rocks in the air. Family, work, etc. Slowly he dropped certain rocks, until he found he could juggle the important things without struggling. You need to drop some rocks. You'll know which ones. Never, drop your family rock.