Monday

We got an update last night on the cousin situation. My male cousin has admitted to the molestation. He is home from the hospital and is meeting with a therapist. They have him on meds and all that good stuff. I don't know whether or not my aunt and uncle are going to press charges or not. I'll let you know as I get more info. I have to say that I'm thankful for this. He needs treatment and help so very bad. Now the family can start healing from all of this.

I went today and dropped off a couple more applications. Keep your fingers crossed. I also put a call into a good friend of ours. He works at a Forensic lab in Nashville. They are hiring in all their departments. I sent them an application and resume as well. I'm really hoping to hear from them. Although it would mean traveling an hour plus to get to work, it would also me that I get to use my mind!! I've heard really good things about this company too and I know from what our friend is saying that its much better than the previous lab we worked for.

Don't have much else planned for the week. We are planning on going blueberry picking with mother this week which means that I'll be making jam. I'm excited! Part of me wishes the garden was in full swing so that I can spend my time not working by putting up veggies and canning. I'm sure I'll find something to do though.

Hope you all have a good day. Until next time!

A Good Day

We have had such a great day. Woke up early and had coffee outside. Then we got dressed and headed down to the farmers market. I was in search of green beans to make Gabbie some baby food. We were in luck!!! Got some of those, some zucchini for dinner tonight and a bucket o' blackberries for dessert. I have a feeling that we will be heading there more often. There were farm fresh eggs, homemade breads, jams, and all kinds of produce. All the produce looked great too!

After that we went to one of my favorite places for a hike, Old Stone Fort Archaeological Park. Its one of two Mississippian mounds in Tennessee and only a 15 minute drive from the house. It was Gabbie's first hiking trip and she had a BLAST!!! I figured she would either fall asleep or start fussing but she did neither. She was awake and alert the entire time except for the last 5 minutes when she finally fell asleep, like she knew that the end was right there. It was a great day!

I was so excited this morning. I truly felt like a kid again. As children Poppa would take Mabel and I hiking all the time. We went all over the place!! We were always getting into something one the weekends. And yes dad, if you're reading this, I did end up with rocks in my backpack. I haven't split them yet but I'm almost positive of what I'll find;) I finally know what it feels like to hike out with a pack full of rocks. I think that was where you made a mistake, you carried them. I think that if Mabel and I had had our own packs and had to carry all the rocks in them, we would have brought alot less home. So when Gabbie is big enough for her own pack, she's definitely getting one!!








Even Auntie Mabel was there in spirit (raccoon tracks)!! I think next time we are going to take the girls with us. Now that we know how Gabbie is going to be, it will be easy for me to wrangle the dogs. Now we're home napping. Gonna have a great dinner and hopefully we'll sleep through the night, but I'm not holding my breath!!! Until next time!!

A New Day

Thank you all for your love and prayers. I truly appreciate them. Unfortunately in the state of Tennessee, employers can hire and fire at will, with no reason. I know that this is a blessing in disguise, we just have to wade through it now. I will keep you all posted on our progress. I pray that I can report some good news in the near future.

Promise to Myself

I suppose its not surprising that I've been so busy, too busy to post. There have been alot of changes to my life and I have promised myself that I am going to post more often even if there's not a single soul that reads it. I've always found writing therapeutic. I've kept journals since I was a young girl and now that I'm a big girl I still want to continue with that. I kept a journal through my pregnancy for Gabbie to one day read. I'm still keeping up with that and I plan to keep it going but I need an outlet just for me, my blog. So here I am, at a low point in my life, having a therapy secession.

First, and the most major, I was fired from my job. Yes... you heard me right. No warning, no notice, nothing. I was called into the office and told I was being let go. Talk about a nervous break down. I just kept thinking, "I have a 5 month old daughter and a house payment. What are we going to do?" I kept praying and praying... and praying and praying. I know that God never gives you more than you can handle, but Lord I've had enough. I know it can always be worse too. I'm trying to look on the bright, see the silver lining, and have faith, but its hard. I woke up this morning expecting to be depressed, but I wasn't. I actually felt good. It was then that I knew everything was going to be ok, somehow. I know there is no point in worrying myself to death, it won't make anything better. So I've given it all to God and I'm going to do everything I can to get a new job ASAP.

Second, I found out last weekend that my 15 year old female cousin was molested by our other male cousin. This was a shock. I've know for years that our male cousin needed some help, he hasn't been "right" since his mother passed when he was very young. This has thrown our family for a loop. I love both of my cousins so very much, and I hate to see either of them suffer and hurt. But that's exactly what they are both going through. My male cousin is in a mental hospital now, finally getting the help that he needs. My female cousin is hanging in there. Her parents are consulting an attorney and I'm uncertain of what they are going to do. I pray that in time, my family can heal from this. We are all so very close, I hate that something like this has happened.

Third, The Man's job is in jeopardy. He has yet to pass the Chemistry praxis and he has to pass in order to continue teaching. He was able to take it one last time and I pray every day that he has passed. Needless to say, he has been in a funk. We won't find out his test scores til July 5. I honestly don't know what we are going to do if he doesn't pass....Lord that's too much!!! I'm not worrying about it though...it won't help. I keep trying to tell The Man that but he won't listen. He's such a worrier, just like mother. I pray that he finds peace with all this. I know he is completely freaking out inside, he just won't show it to me.

Fourth, my step-grandmother has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. She opted for chemo but I have a feeling its not going to do any good. She is fading fast. Honestly its probably better that way. I hate that she has to suffer at all, let alone for an elongated period of time. My mother and step-father are her primary care givers. Mother is doing everything she can but I know that she's not going to last long. I've told them to look into a full time nurse. I pray that God does not allow her to suffer long.

Needless to say, its been rough. Although there are so many things going wrong, there is still plenty to be thankful for. I know that it can always be worse and I pray that it doesn't get worse. I am so thankful for my family. I know that regardless everything will work out. My daughter will be taken care of, the mortgage will get paid, and some day soon The Man and I will crawl out of this rut in the road. Seems like all I do anymore is pray but I guess there are worse ways to pass the time.

My daughter has become my air. Just looking at her makes everything worth it. She's truly amazing. She's learning so much, every day she changes. I thank God every day for her. If The Man and I weren't in such a financial black hole, I wouldn't mind getting pregnant again. No I'm not crazy... I just LOVE being a mom!!! It is something that I've always known I was supposed to be. Now that I am a mother, I can't wait to have more children. Its funny, 5 years ago the only thing I wanted was to get my PhD and have an amazing career. Now the only thing I want is to have more babies and put up some tomatoes!!! Talk about a 180!! I still want my PhD, but I know now what my calling really is.

Thank you, whoever you are, for reading this and listening. I am making a real effort to post more, because I know that it will help me overcome. Plus its free therapy!!! I leave you with some new picture of my amazingly gorgeous daughter. Until next time!!